Acts of Contemplation: Screaming in the Silence

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The last post focused on the emotional aspect of our humanity and the way in which we allow our emotions to guide and direct our responses. If only it were that simple, but to this equation is added what is acceptable behavior in accord with societal, cultural and communal rules of order. “Speaking your mind”, which is actually the result of what the heart and emotions have formulated as conclusion, is often seen as a negative trait, rather than being acknowledged as an act of courage.

“Holding your tongue” may be more acceptable, but at what cost to claiming your personal power and being forthright in what you are feeling. We are continually moving through the delicate balance of what is appropriate, what is truth and what is honoring and being accountable for what emanates from these two points.

What happens when this balance sways in the direction of pent up emotion. When these emotions reach their boiling point and what you want to say can’t be said. What is the recourse? For me, this energy becomes that of screaming in silence.

There are people I love and care deeply for and still these people can bring me to a space of frustration and emotional turmoil. Lashing out is not always the best practice,, but I have also come to realize that holding everything in is just as non-productive and damaging. I pick and choose carefully where I allow my anger to find its mark, and most often what has provoke me are small bones to pick, when I really take the time to breath into a response rather than jumping to the first reaction.

This approach usually works, but for those times when I need to release strong and potentially erosive feelings I find a quiet place of solitude. In this space, where I can let go and allow raw emotion to spill from me, I call up what has provoked such intense feeling.  I pull it up, open my mouth and shatter the silence of this space with a full bodied scream. I do this until the purging of what upset me is complete and the  energy of my space of choosing has accepted my release and transformed it into pure and dynamic flow.

This is the magick of the silence and the power of emotional release emanating from a vessel that is human, manifest and potent in its ability to feel, to react and to respond. Not only do I feel better, but whatever would have been the object of my wrath has not taken that energy from me. This is an important observation that we do not realize when we allow our anger or negative emotions to get the best of us. We imagine that we are blasting away at whatever caused these emotions and that by doing this somehow we will feel better. Usually we do not! Often we feel depleted and drained; having offered up the energy of our power to the other. And, not always do we see the results of change that we hope this outpouring will have in changing the outcome.

Now this is not to say that I do not express myself and speak up when my emotions have been reached critical mass, but it is all in the timing as to how much the resulting outcome changes me (for the better) and allows me to stand in the fullness of my power and ability to express myself. Actually, waiting until after I have “screamed into the silence” gives me the composure and anchoring to be effective in what and how I communicate. These emotions have been tempered and refined and I am now in control, which is after all, the desired outcome!

So, the next time your emotional self reaches its bursting point, breathe into the silence, scream your frustration into powerful, raw energy acknowledging that you are magickally human…

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I think I Can- But Should I?

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